NOVABLOG 2: THE SQUEAKQUEL

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Sunday 07/24/16

Finding Cory Review

Finding Cory is a weird movie. It starts off with a message from the president announcing a nationwide hunt for Cory and every town is searched wide and far for Cory. France is called in to help try and look for Cory because America can't do it alone. Eventually after a year of searching they finally find Cory in the White House.

Now, if you actually watch the anime, "Cory in the House", it's so obvious that he lives in the White House because that's the whole premise of the show. The plot of the movie makes no sense because people should have just looked there first. Especially the President of the USA should have looked there because he lives in the White House too.

Bringing a tank to a bidding war, review

I was bidding on a lot containing 1943: The Battle of Midway/Valhalla, 3-D Battles of Worldrunner, Battle City, Battle Kid: Fortress of Peril, Battle Tank, Battleship, Battletoads, and Gekitotsu Yonku Battle. Oh, and Famicom Wars.

There was an auction place and I heard there was a bidding war, so I brought my tank because that's what you do in wars, right? I got told to leave because they didn't like tanks but what are they going to do about it? Nothing, that's what. I won the bidding war.

Thursday 06/02/16

Dueling the Michelin Man, Review

I fought Michelin Man and he was like "I'm TIREd of you, get it???" but I had a tacks and I gave him a flat tired and I won easily. the fight was too easy, would not fight again

Monday 05/16/16

Luigi vs Lugia

This is a question that has been wondered throughout the ages because Luigi the plumber and Lugia the Pokemon have similar looking names. I finally made them fight and apparently Luigi won because of his wavedash and his Super Jump Punch kicked Lugia's butt. They had a second match where Luigi just stood around the whole match and didn't do anything and he still won.

Wednesday 05/11/16

Credit Cardcaptor Sakura Review

Credit Cardcaptor Sakura, unlike the regular Cardcaptor Sakura will capture your credit card and use it to pay for new episodes of her anime, costing you ridiculous amounts of money. 0/10 do not recommend, watch out for her when you're watching anime.

Friday 04/08/16

More Samsung Galaxy reviews

Galaxy S5: The Galaxy S5 is a cool phone that runs pretty fast and its camera is good. It has expandable storage so I have tons of room for squirrel photos and I have never really had a problem with it.

Galaxy S7 Edge: a k00ler phone with a curved screen. Unfortunately this means that it's very hard to find a tempered glass screen protector for it, and the ones that do exist don't really cover the whole screen. Also, it's easy to accidentally turn on multitasking.

Galaxy S0: I tried to review the Galaxy S0 but I'm pretty sure it's actually literally nothing. Refer to my review on air.

Galaxy ∫e^x dx: This phone is just e^x+constant. It only came out because ∫ looks like S.

Galaxy S-1: The Galaxy S negative 1 is the same thing as the Galaxy S1 except it's composed of antimatter and it's very hard to use because of the annihilation.

Galaxy S1 Edge: This phone was created in the distant future when Samsung kept increasing the number before it finally rolled over to 1. They weren't able to make the non-Edge version because the Galaxy S1 already exists but the Galaxy S1 Edge came out before Samsung realized the number rolled over. As a result it's a really futuristic phone but it's not very compatible with 2016 technologies so it has limited use.

Friday 03/18/16

Samsung Galaxy Cheese Pizza, Review

After Tony's attempt at the Galaxy Cheese Pizza turned out kinda bad, Samsung decided to try to make their own. The Samsung Galaxy Cheese Pizza is a new circular smartphone.

Phone specs:

  • Operating System: Android pizza edition
  • Calories: 280
  • Add excitement to your menu with this kid-named product
  • Battery life: 1 year
  • New circular design; separated into "slices" for multitasking apps together
  • Total Fat: 12g
  • Impossible to get a screen protector for
  • RAM: 10 GB
  • 51% whole grain crust
  • Storage: none, it stores your data in literal clouds
  • Protein; 15g
  • CPU: magically becomes whatever the newest high-end server CPU is
  • Has Papa Johns on speed dial and gets you special deals

The biggest downsides are that you look like an idiot when you have a pizza held up to your ear (worse than the N-Gage) and are talking into it so don't try to make calls with the Samsung Galaxy Cheese Pizza. The pizza version of Android is okay but go for the cheese firmware (the pepperoni has issues).

If you can get past the silliness the specs are really great. I'm concerned about the mandatory cloud storage though, I think the NSA can read data from the clouds.

Sunday 08/23/15

Pencilvania Review

I went to visit Pencilvania because I had heard lots of great things about it from Hello Kitty who flew over there once. All the buildings look like pencils and erasers and matches. I don't know why the matches are there and I think it's kind of a huge safety hazard when a lot of the buildings are made of wood, unless the pencils actually just look like pencils. I even flew over a few fires so that's proof right there it's not safe. In fact I saw some fires that were running towards me and that is a severe safety hazard and I'm going to contact Obama right now about this. There's also a lot of water but I wouldn't recommend getting in because of the giant fish.

Saturday 08/22/15

Great Pizza Review

Ike from Fire Emblem keeps recommending Great Pizza whenever he beats me up with his Final Smash, so I tried it and it was actually okay. Turns out the "Great" actually means "Great Value" brand pizza, so it's not any better than store brand. At least the crust is really crispy because they didn't try to make it rising crust. Ike can also cook this particular pizza with his sword and he can't cook other pizzas like that.

Friday 08/21/15

Plaque Edit Toothpaste, Review

This is another weird toothpaste, like Awesome Toothpaste. It removes ALL the plaque in your mouth but it magically transforms it all into candy and advises you sell it for big profits. I don't think anyone would purchase candy that came out of my mouth though. If you just eat it then that's probably not healthy. It'll probably just make more plaque.

Awesome Toothpaste Review

Awesome Toothpaste was a toothpaste that was so dumb that they didn't bother to trademark the name, so someone later took it. I will review the original Awesome Toothpaste. It's pizza flavored, to make it more popular with kids, but what you may not know is that it actually doesn't have any fluoride at all and it'll actually ruin your teeth because it is in fact pizza but crammed into a tube. Awesome Toothpaste is OK but it should be marketed as a snack rather than a toothpaste.

Thursday 08/20/15

Galaxy S15, Review

I had to time travel into the future to get the Galaxy S15 and it was very dangerous but I did it.

Pros:

  • There's a button that instantly delivers a free pizza to your house
  • It's super fast
  • It has 65536 gigabytes of space
  • The battery is stuck at 99% which means you'll never run out of power

Cons:

  • The free pizza button is too easy to press accidentally, resulting in excess pizza
  • Only works on 12G which doesn't exist yet
  • The battery is stuck at 99% so you'll want to plug it in but you can't
  • Charger port is useless
  • Doesn't actually really exist