NOVABLOG 2: THE SQUEAKQUEL

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Monday 04/04/16

Littieri's Pepperoni Pizza Calzone Review

I forgot to bring pizza with me and there were no pizza wraps so I tried the $3 Littieri's Pepperoni stuffed Calzone. It advertised "authentic bread with flavorful fillings" and it actually had microwaving instructions, so I put it in for like 1:15. It came out really soft and poofy and it's tastes pretty nice, and tasted like proper pizza crust rather than like Lunchmakers (so authentic bread is right). There was transparent tape on the package for some reason, holding it together which I thought was weird. It smells decent and while it's really soft you don't necessarily need a plate as long as you're careful.

The calzone is pretty spicy from the pepperonis and it tasted alright. The taste isn't amazing (it's sorta like rising crust frozen pizza) and the texture is pretty bad. It's sorta mushy and the cheese isn't great.

Like before, I think I'd prefer the regular pizza for a little bit more money, though it's a long walk to Walb from Kettler.

Monday 03/28/16

IPFW Vending Machine Pizza Wrap Review

The pizza wraps have been kind of hard to find, and for good reason: they're pretty good actually.

The wrap had no instructions on it so I heated it up for 30 seconds which still left it mostly cold. I guessed that was good enough and just ate it. It also came with a dipping cup (?) of marinara sauce which was kind of hard to use because ingredients kept falling into it. I think maybe instead you're supposed to spread it out over something and dip into that instead of directly using the cup.

The pizza taste is very much like a Lunchmakers pizza, which I think is probably from the tortilla used in place of a crust. The inside has pepperoni as an entire layer so there's TONS of pepperoni in there, and there's Italian sausages which give it a very spicy taste. The cheese reminded me of Lunchmakers too. This isn't a surprise since they both seem like they're meant to be eaten cold.

The pizza has lots of meat in it and it's very flavorful and quite spicy. It's honestly not a huge upgrade from Lunchmakers in pure flavor but it feels a lot more filling because there's so much and because of how juicy and nice it is. It's $3 which is kinda expensive but still cheaper than the cafeteria pizza (which is like ~$3.50 with tax?). Honestly, I might as well just pay the extra 50 cents for the awesome pizza in the cafeteria, especially with how hard it is to find the pizza wraps.

Monday 02/29/16

Lunchables Pepperoni Pizza Fun Pack, Review

Today I had a Lunchables pizza rather than an Armour Lunchmakers one. It came in a cardboard box that contained a Capri Sun fruit punch pouch, and a Crunch candy bar. The box had jokes on the inside and fun fax and tongue twisters but there was nothing in there that was really amusing for a college student.

Unlike Lunchmakers, Lunchables Pizza has tons of sauce and tons of cheese so you definitely have enough. I ended up using the whole amount of cheese and sauce I got. The big difference between Lunchmakers Pepperoni Pizza and Lunchables Pepperoni Pizza is that Lunchmakers has "pepperoni flavored sausage" which is really thin and easy to tear through and it tasted pretty decent. Lunchables on the other hand has real pepperonis.

These are pretty huge and sorta thick, and you get enough for three pepperonis per pizza, and if you use them evenly all the pizzas are mostly covered with the pepperonis. The pepperonis honestly don't taste all that much better (they're okay, taste like pepperoni and are a little spicy) and the big difference is the texture. They feel tough and leathery even when cooked for 30 seconds, and because of them you can't tear into the pizza with a fork very easily. You also have to chew it.

I'd probably honestly stick to Armour Lunchmakers here.

Friday 01/29/16

Armour LunchMakers Pepperoni Pizza, review

In my need to have better things to eat at college than granola bars I have turned to microwaveable pizzas. The pizza was heated to 30 seconds in my review, and the pizza will primarily be compared to the Tony's Microwaveable pizza rectangle.

The pizza is pretty soft, but not in a gooey or unpleasant way. It's just soft, and easy to tear through with a fork or bite through. The amount of toppings, while seemingly small when you're topping the pizza, seems small but after actually cooking, it can easily cover the whole pizza and it manages to stay on the pizza while eating. The flimsy IPFW forks didn't really matter that much since I could hold onto the sides of the pizza if I needed a grip to cut it with one, and the pizza didn't smell, taste and look weird. The pizza uses mozzarella cheese and marinara sauce and it contributes to a real pizza flavor, but the sausage is actually "pepperoni flavored sausage" which is actually pretty good.

I don't know if it's from having a lot of pizzas of this type as a kid but this pizza is actually really pleasant and although it's barely pizza I would still definitely choose it over Tony's Microwaveable Pizza Rectangle.

Monday 01/18/16

Kroger Three Meat Rising Crust pizza, Review

I felt like trying some new pizza, so I baked a self-rising crust pizza from Kroger. I know, it's store-brand so I shouldn't be expecting a lot, but Meijer's rising crust and Great Value pizzas turned out to be decent in both the pepperoni and cheese versions, if a little bland. This was not the case for Kroger's rising crust pizzas. I don't know if it was undercooked but it was put in between the minimum and maximum cooking times so I don't think it was. I didn't really like it.

The pizza was really gooey, in a sort of bad way. It's sort of like how Tombstone cheese pizza is a little too gooey but it's the whole pizza. In fact, the pizza is so gooey that it can't really hold itself together very well. It's very difficult to lift up a piece without it falling apart and spilling toppings. A lot of the pizza was the bread part which wasn't very crunchy at all except for some bits on the end, and the pizza was mostly just soggy. The flavors weren't all that great; the toppings were kind of bland and seemed moist rather than actually being juicy.

I don't know if the cheese version is any better, but as it stands I'm not really looking to try this brand again soon.

Wednesday 11/04/15

IPFW Walb Pepperoni and Sausage pizza slice, Review

Because Walb has pizza too in the cafeteria that used to be Pizza Hut, I bought a slice even though it was $3.29. It's a pretty big slice though. It looked delicious and way better than Tony's, with infinitely less grease though there was still some visible grease. There were TONS of sausages and they were big and juicy. They seemed a little crunchy too in a good way. The pepperonis were juicy and overall the toppings were way better than Pizza Hut's toppings and Little Caesars's toppings, but not quite as good as Papa John's. There are pepperonis on the crust which were crunchy.The dough wasn't tough and the cheese and sauce were really good. Overall it was a really good slice of pizza but $3.29 kinda kills it for me. If I'm hungry and I want pizza I could pay like, twice that and get a whole Papa Johns pizza.

Tuesday 11/03/15

Tony's Microwaveable Pepperoni Pizza Rectangle, Review

Everyone always tells me not to buy weird stuff from the vending machines. It was tempting though, not having any hot foods at college when I was hungry, so against my better judgment I purchased a Tony's Pepperoni Pizza thing, and it seemed like the kind of food you'd have in a high school lunch. Pizza tends to be good even when it's bad, so it was probably safe, right?

After it got out of the microwave I noticed it was ULTRA greasy and I used a napkin to wipe up a good amount of it but there was still a lot of it left. I grabbed one of the forks and headed off to discrete math class because I realized it was about to start. Once inside I realized the pizza was pretty much impossible to cut into with the ultra flimsy forks my college has and I mostly had to bite into it to tear it at all. The pizza looked really disappointing and it has those dumb cube shaped pepperonis that didn't turn out to taste very good and they kept falling off. The pizza kinda smelled weird too and overall it just reminded me of high school food but not in a nice nostalgic way. It was a little spicy though and that was nice.

I felt gross afterwards, ugh.

Tuesday 08/25/15

Lean Cuisine Craveables Pepperoni Pizza Review

It's microwave pizza, but really good microwave pizza. It's not crispy in the slightest but it doesn't try to be and it's a lot more flavorful than generic crispy frozen pizzas. It's kinda small but I guess for the type of product it is that makes sense. It's enjoyably spicy. I didn't pay attention to the nutritional value because I never do but it's Lean Cuisine so it's probably healthier than Kid Cuisine. It's probably a lot less calories than an entire Papa Johns pizza with copious amounts of garlic sauce.

Saturday 08/22/15

Digiorno Rising Crust 3 Meat Review

It's delicious and a lot more flavorful than Meijers store-brand pizza. The pepperonis are a little spicy and the meat really stands out. The crust is a good thickness and it's better than those "lol we're just trying to make rising crust" pizzas because they're actually trying to make a good rising crust pizza.

Wednesday 08/19/15

Spaghetti sauce, cheddar cheese and tortilla pizza Review

It might sound like a good idea at first because you're out of mozzarella and pizza sauce and pizza crust but don't do it. The cheddar is going to end up REALLY weird and it won't taste right. You can use spaghetti sauce instead of pizza sauce if you don't mind that it's sweeter but you can NOT substitute mozzarella for cheddar on a pizza. ESPECIALLY DO NOT USE SLICES OF AMERICAN CHEESE ON PIZZA.

Saturday 08/15/15

Meijer's rising crust four-cheese pizza, Review

It's as bland as store-brand pizza would imply. It's okay if you really want rising crust pizza but for some reason don't want to get a Digiorno, but personally if I'm getting frozen pizza I'd prefer to get something more interesting like Red Baron.

Friday 08/14/15

Zesto cherry smoothie Review

Zesto's cherry smoothies are actually quite good and the cherry flavor is strong and enjoyable but there's whole cherries in there and it's kind of hard to deal with using a straw. I'd still recommend it though. I'm going to try other flavors later on. I think if you really want a smoothie specifically you should go to TCBY.

Monday 08/10/15

Little Caesars Review

It's good for what it is ($5 instantly-ready pizza) but it's not the best. It's certainly better than the really tiny frozen pizzas like Tombstone and I will definitely eat it when it's around but it's not super great. If I'm just getting one pizza I'd rather spend the extra few bucks to get Papa Johns.

Papa Johns Review

Papa Johns is always my first choice for pizza, with my second being Pizza Hut. It's just the best pizza I've ever had. The garlic that comes with the pizza is delicious though sometimes it's a bit too watery rather than creamy. Even when it's watery I still dunk the pizza in it. The pizza is really good when it's cold, too. Probably the best pizza to eat cold, because it's still delicious and the cheese doesn't get all hard like Little Caesars tends to. In high school I was always the cool kid, bringing in Papa Johns slices in with aluminum foil to keep it safe.

Sunday 08/09/15

Doritos Review

"The DORITOS® brand is all about boldness. If you’re up to the challenge, grab a bag of DORITOS® tortilla chips and get ready to make some memories you won’t soon forget. It’s a bold experience in snacking and beyond"

Doritos are a pretty good chip, especially the nacho cheese flavor. I would totally recommend them. I am not a Frito-Lay salesperson but it would probably be cool if I was because I could tell people to eat Doritos all day. And then I would proceed to eat Doritos all day. Please join the Society of Doritos.

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