NOVABLOG 2: THE SQUEAKQUEL

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Sunday 07/24/16

Bringing a tank to a bidding war, review

I was bidding on a lot containing 1943: The Battle of Midway/Valhalla, 3-D Battles of Worldrunner, Battle City, Battle Kid: Fortress of Peril, Battle Tank, Battleship, Battletoads, and Gekitotsu Yonku Battle. Oh, and Famicom Wars.

There was an auction place and I heard there was a bidding war, so I brought my tank because that's what you do in wars, right? I got told to leave because they didn't like tanks but what are they going to do about it? Nothing, that's what. I won the bidding war.

Thursday 06/02/16

Dueling the Michelin Man, Review

I fought Michelin Man and he was like "I'm TIREd of you, get it???" but I had a tacks and I gave him a flat tired and I won easily. the fight was too easy, would not fight again

Friday 03/18/16

Floorida Review

I started driving to Florida but by accident I pressed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor of the car and did not release it until I was all the way at Florida, but to my surprise I had been warped into Floorida instead. People everywhere were rounding real numbers down to integers, and there were floors everywhere - at least one in every single building. Also unfortunately all the cars in Floorida always constantly floor it so it's really dangerous to go anywhere, and traffic accidents are a real problem.

I would not recommend going to Floorida because of the danger.

Tuesday 03/01/16

IPFW Area Near Walb, Cleanliness Review

Compared to my high school, IPFW is actually very good about keeping the campus clean! I don't see random trash in the hall nor in the bathroom stalls and I don't find unflushed toilets with miscellaneous things in them. However, the area near Walb with the roundabout seems to be completely neglected. Last year there was a biscuit, mashed potatoes and green beans on the ground, along with a soda, and while the biscuit disappeared the rest of the items stayed for months until the end of the semester. This semester, there are two dog turds that have been there for a few weeks. Looking forward to seeing those turds all semester.

I give the area near walb 2 cleanliness stars out of 5

Monday 02/29/16

Minions shower curtain, review

Previously I did a review on Minions being everywhere but now it has gone too far. I have discovered minions in the bathroom, on the shower curtain!! Needless to say this is one of the easiest ways to make showers very uncomfortable and showers are supposed to be one of the last places where you're safe from minions everywhere.

In addition, someone had placed a Batman action figure on the barrier between the bath and the floor and it was staring at me the entire shower.

Sunday 09/06/15

Review of the Kool Aid Man bursting through my wall

I had the Kool Aid Man bust through the wall the other day in order to promote Kool Aid and it left a huge hole in the wall that cost a lot of money to repair. I didn't have KOOL AID MAN INSURANCE which was the worst part. I would recommend you get KOOL AID MAN insurance and put up a sign that says "please don't smash this wall" on every single wall on your house to protect yourself. If you don't then it's your fault if he busts into your house.

Realizing ChicagoVPS is staffed by anthropomorphic dollar signs, Review

I WAS ON THE CHICAGOVPS SITE to look at my vps's disk usage (even though I could have used the df command) and then I saw THIS BANNER. Only later I found out that this DOLLAR SIGN MAN was an actual employee of ChicagoVPS. The entire staff team including the CEO is composed of dollar sign people. That's why my VPS sometimes goes down for absolutely no reason, and it isn't the fact that I specifically went with the absolute cheapest VPS provider available. I think they should replace these GREEN DOLLAR SIGN MEN with yen or something. maybe then my server would stay up

Monday 08/24/15

Review of IPFW and Snider's bathrooms

IPFW bathrooms seem so much more sanitary than Snider ones. Because the students are much more mature there is not random trash laying around and garbage in the toilets. Also, the soap dispenser never broken or empty, unlike Snider where I often had to only rinse my hands due to lack of soap. The toilet paper is better than Snider's little squares off cheap toilet paper that were often all over the ground and there are paper towels. There are also trash cans placed so that you can exit through the bathroom door and throw the paper towel away without touching the door. The bad thing is that many locks on doors don't seem to work very well or the door doesn't stay closed, which Snider was a little better at.

blurbblurb lines Review

blurbblurb lines has the best lyrics out of any song ever. It has wonderfully crafted lines like "wewewewe" and "babyb baybybayb babe" and it's what blurred lines should have been. The part at 57 seconds in where everything goes crazy is great, especially with how everything goes right back to normal afterwards as if nothing had ever happened.

Friday 08/21/15

Air Review

I like air but it's VERY addicting. I'm already super addicted to air and I need it I need or else I have a withdrawal so badly that I die. Air doesn't even get me high anymore but I'm still dependent on it. This is a problem if I'm ever in a place without air, like outer space. Talk to your children about air before someone else does. Don't let air ruin their lives.

Thursday 08/20/15

Camping at Subway, Review

If you pitch a tent in a Subway restaurant you will most likely get kicked out. In the off chance that you don't, though, it's a pretty horrible place to camp. Everyone is always super noisy because everyone is always ordering things and people look at your tent funny. At night your tent gets attacked by $5 Foot Longs that invade your tent and you have to eat all of them to survive the night but if you do then the employees will kick you out for eating food without paying for it first.

Don't camp at Subway, just eat there. I want a roast beef sandwich.

Tuesday 08/18/15

Using a Teletubby as a TV for a game console, Review

I plugged the video cable for my SNES into Tinkie Winkie and I started to play Super Mario World on the TV screen on his stomach. The picture quality is absolutely fantastic but Tinkie could not hold still while I played. He ended up running away while I was working my way through the Special World and it was terrible. I would not recommend it despite the video quality.

Driving over the Atlantic Ocean, Review

It's a better way to get to France than using a boat or plane, that's for sure. There are actually no rules in the books for driving over the Atlantic Ocean so you can be texting while driving drunk while flooring the accelerator while playing Mario WITHOUT WEARING YOUR SEATBELT and the cops won't even care. You have to make sure you don't hit any boats though.

precautions:

  • NOTE: YOU CAN NOT DO THIS IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN, ONLY THE ATLANTIC
  • bring enough gas to drive over the Atlantic ocean, there are no gas stations unless you can steal gas from boats somehow
  • WATCH OUT FOR ICEBERGS, especially if your car looks like the Titanic
  • don't watch the movie "Frozen" while you drive over the Atlantic Ocean, because Elsa will automatically create icebergs in your way
  • good luck getting a phone signal out on the ocean. print out the entire internet if you have enough ink so you can have it with you
  • watch out for pirates. wear a pirate hat so they think you're with them and they'll let you go

Mario political party, Review

The Mario Party's platform of stealing stars and ruining friendships is pretty terrible even if it does come with minigames. Minigames should never justify ruining friendships. Only Smash Brothers and Mario Kart do. Also Luigi keeps winning at all of the minigames the Mario Party releases simply by doing nothing.

Pizza political party, Review

I think their platform of giving free pizza to everyone sounds good on paper but I don't know how they're actually going to accomplish that and they're probably going to raise taxes to be able to afford the pizza. And they didn't specify what sort of pizza so it's probably not Papa Johns. They didn't even specify what TOPPINGS which is the most important part. I want sausage pizza please, Pizza Party, if you are reading this right now.

There's also the troubling fact that all of the candidates for the Pizza Party are ninja turtles. I don't know if I want a ninja turtle running this country.

Monday 08/17/15

Sun Review

I approve of the sun because it's actually constant nuclear reactions. I approve of nukes too, but I don't have any weapons grade plutonium. I would not recommend staring at it though, but you can stare at me instead because looking at my neon green fur is enough like staring at the bright sun that it's an acceptable substitute.

Tuesday 08/11/15

Huge vat of lime Jello, Review

DO NOT MAKE A HUGE VAT OF LIME JELLO. If you're going to make a huge vat of Jello, go with a good flavor like cherry, strawberry, raspberry or something else good. DO NOT USE LIME. Even if your mom buys you like 10 huge boxes of lime Jello do not make them all at once. It is completely inadvisable and it's kind of dumb. And then it'll sit in your fridge and you'll feel obligated to eat it so that it doesn't go to waste because wasting food sucks. SAVE YOURSELF THE PROBLEM, DO NOT MAKE HUGE VATS OF LIME JELLO.

Monday 08/10/15

Water Review

Water is wet and it's a good drink and good for bathing with. Most of Earth is covered in water. YOU have water in you I bet. unless you're a robot. robots PLEASE don't read my blog, it's for mammals only. water is ok when it's ice but not when I'm trying to drive on it. I don't like being rained on either. watermelon has water in it I think. don't quote me on that.

watermelon has water in it I think

w o w look at what you did, you shouldn't have done that, I said don't quote me