In the past, Gandi (the domain registrar I'm currently using) offered a whole free blog with every domain, which was really good value. I decided to use mine mostly to post really weird reviews, because I guess that's what I do when I'm given free hosting space. I reviewed things like college vending machine food, abstract concepts, and things that don't exist. A lot of it was actually my genuine thoughts on stuff, though probably of limited use to anyone else.
I was able to get an archive before Gandi fully shut down their free blog stuff, and generated this page which has all of the blog entries, though I think I remember removing a few for privacy reasons. There's also an archive on archive.org that captures how that blog originally looked, but is incomplete.
I thought it'd be interesting to repost some of the blog entries here, with some commentary.
All semester the chemistry labs were really hard, and then SUDDENLY we get assigned lab number 3 towards the end of the semester. It was almost the easiest thing we did and most of it was sitting around waiting for water to boil. I would totally recommend this lab except you don't get to pick the labs you do anyway haha.
I remember a lot of the labs used bunsen burners and they were always really scary and I didn't like them. So this must have been a real relief.
I approve of the sun because it's actually constant nuclear reactions. I approve of nukes too, but I don't have any weapons grade plutonium. I would not recommend staring at it though, but you can stare at me instead because looking at my neon green fur is enough like staring at the bright sun that it's an acceptable substitute.
Nukes were one of the funniest things and I'm not sure why. That's why I own some uranium ore.
It's a better way to get to France than using a boat or plane, that's for sure. There are actually no rules in the books for driving over the Atlantic Ocean so you can be texting while driving drunk while flooring the accelerator while playing Mario WITHOUT WEARING YOUR SEATBELT and the cops won't even care. You have to make sure you don't hit any boats though.
precautions:
I thought this was the funniest thing ever for some reason, and I had it linked to from the sidebar under "best of me"
The Mario Party's platform of stealing stars and ruining friendships is pretty terrible even if it does come with minigames. Minigames should never justify ruining friendships. Only Smash Brothers and Mario Kart do. Also Luigi keeps winning at all of the minigames the Mario Party releases simply by doing nothing.
I loved to reference jokes from Uncyclopedia
I tried one of these and it turned out to be exactly the same as a cheeseburger. Don't be fooled!!!
Ike from Fire Emblem keeps recommending Great Pizza whenever he beats me up with his Final Smash, so I tried it and it was actually okay. Turns out the "Great" actually means "Great Value" brand pizza, so it's not any better than store brand. At least the crust is really crispy because they didn't try to make it rising crust. Ike can also cook this particular pizza with his sword and he can't cook other pizzas like that.
Deliberately mishearing Ike's final smash is a great inside joke and I will continue it forever. It's the reason I put someone name Ike in Nova the Squirrel who sells "great pizza"
I think their platform of giving free pizza to everyone sounds good on paper but I don't know how they're actually going to accomplish that and they're probably going to raise taxes to be able to afford the pizza. And they didn't specify what sort of pizza so it's probably not Papa Johns. They didn't even specify what TOPPINGS which is the most important part. I want sausage pizza please, Pizza Party, if you are reading this right now.
There's also the troubling fact that all of the candidates for the Pizza Party are ninja turtles. I don't know if I want a ninja turtle running this country.
With how the past few presidents have been I think I'm finally ready for a ninja turtle president
I saw a "pizza burger" in the vending machines when I was walking around Ivy Tech forever ago and I regretted not trying it. Now, I tried what seemed to be a pizza burger. It was NOT soggy or anything when microwaved, and it was basically just a patty with pizza sauce and a slice of cheese on it. Like, pasta cheese rather than American cheese. It honestly did not taste very much like a pizza, but rather more like goulash. And, judging it as a goulash burger rather than a pizza burger it's surprisingly good for $2.25.
I ended up continually buying those because it was one of the only microwaveable food that was actually pretty decent. I remember trying to replicate it and getting decent results... I should try again.
Hi I'm Aladdin and Jafar tried to kill me so he's probably not a good person but my friend Remy thinks that genie Jafar is sexy. He is too easy to beat in the Aladdin SNES game. In fact the entire Aladdin SNES game is way too easy. I beat it while I was waiting for Windows 10 to install and I can beat it again and again and again. The only hard part is escaping from the Cave of Wonders but I can get through it on the first try every time I play Aladdin for SNES. He's also kinda dumb because he wished to be a genie. DON'T WISH TO BE A GENIE.
Aladdin for SNES is still a really great game and it's nice to have games I can just run through the entirety of on a whim
If you pitch a tent in a Subway restaurant you will most likely get kicked out. In the off chance that you don't, though, it's a pretty horrible place to camp. Everyone is always super noisy because everyone is always ordering things and people look at your tent funny. At night your tent gets attacked by $5 Foot Longs that invade your tent and you have to eat all of them to survive the night but if you do then the employees will kick you out for eating food without paying for it first.
Don't camp at Subway, just eat there. I want a roast beef sandwich.
There was a Subway at college for a little while, so I think that's why it was on my mind
This is another weird toothpaste, like Awesome Toothpaste. It removes ALL the plaque in your mouth but it magically transforms it all into candy and advises you sell it for big profits. I don't think anyone would purchase candy that came out of my mouth though. If you just eat it then that's probably not healthy. It'll probably just make more plaque.
From some middle school communications class assignment, I think? You had to make a toothpaste brand and design a box and stuff.
I plugged the video cable for my SNES into Tinkie Winkie and I started to play Super Mario World on the TV screen on his stomach. The picture quality is absolutely fantastic but Tinkie could not hold still while I played. He ended up running away while I was working my way through the Special World and it was terrible. I would not recommend it despite the video quality.
I think in 2023 you have to use a RetroTINK if you wanna connect a SNES to Tinky Winky anymore
I like air but it's VERY addicting. I'm already super addicted to air and I need it I need or else I have a withdrawal so badly that I die. Air doesn't even get me high anymore but I'm still dependent on it. This is a problem if I'm ever in a place without air, like outer space. Talk to your children about air before someone else does. Don't let air ruin their lives.
Chainsawsuit ended up doing a comic with the same joke, but I can't find it
I played RollerCoaster Tycoon a lot as a little kid and it was and always has been one of my favorite PC games. I've been playing through some RollerCoaster Tycoon 1 scenarios and while I really miss a whole lot of stuff RCT 2 added that makes park construction easier (auto-removing scenery when placing stuff, getting a better preview when placing stuff, etc) it's still great. I hear RCT 1's scenarios are better than 2's and they look more interesting overall.
I think RollerCoaster Tycoon World could be really cool. At first it looked like it was going to be crappy but after they switched developers it looks like something I might actually buy. I think the focus on user-made content is really good. I don't know if I'll be able to get over missing the aesthetic from RCT1 and 2, though. That's the big thing keeping me from trying RCT 3 a lot, even though that's probably dumb. RCT:World just looks so gorgeous though, that it could be an acceptable replacement.
I'm looking forward to OpenRCT2 and I hope it gets as far as OpenTTD got, online play and all. Aside from that, it would make it possible to port RCT2 to Android and then we can finally have a portable version of RCT that doesn't suck. RCT for 3DS and RCT 4 Mobile both look awful. RCT in my pocket with the original aesthetics would be the best thing. You could play in line at Cedar Point and then have the best theme park experience possible.
Turns out RCT World sucked, and OpenRCT2 was absolutely worth looking forward to. And RCT Classic gave us a good mobile version of RollerCoaster Tycoon!
Awesome Toothpaste was a toothpaste that was so dumb that they didn't bother to trademark the name, so someone later took it. I will review the original Awesome Toothpaste. It's pizza flavored, to make it more popular with kids, but what you may not know is that it actually doesn't have any fluoride at all and it'll actually ruin your teeth because it is in fact pizza but crammed into a tube. Awesome Toothpaste is OK but it should be marketed as a snack rather than a toothpaste.
I think I was in this class twice for some reason. I didn't fail or anything, they just made me take it again??
I had to time travel into the future to get the Galaxy S15 and it was very dangerous but I did it.
Pros:
Cons:
I went to visit Pencilvania because I had heard lots of great things about it from Hello Kitty who flew over there once. All the buildings look like pencils and erasers and matches. I don't know why the matches are there and I think it's kind of a huge safety hazard when a lot of the buildings are made of wood, unless the pencils actually just look like pencils. I even flew over a few fires so that's proof right there it's not safe. In fact I saw some fires that were running towards me and that is a severe safety hazard and I'm going to contact Obama right now about this. There's also a lot of water but I wouldn't recommend getting in because of the giant fish.
Hello Kitty World reference, which I guess doubles as a Balloon Kid reference. It's literally named Pencilvania in the game manual I think.
They're really dumb because they take up the same amount of screen space to show less of a picture and if the avatar you want to use doesn't fit a circle well (like animals tend to have ears and such on the top and they almost always get partially cropped out at the zoom size people would normally use for square avatars) then it looks dumb. I want square avatars back.
why did I even make a blog.... oh right it's because it's free with Gandi
Now I'm paying to host this blog haha
$1/month VPSes. That's like the only real appeal. They went from IPv6 being "coming soon" to no longer being mentioned on the site, so you're stuck with IPv4. Sometimes my server goes offline for no reason and I have to log in to boot it again. I think they got hacked like twice over the span of a year or two, but I don't really mindddd. Overall ChicagoVPS still gets the job done for the cheapest price so if you're a cheapskate like me it's good.
They still offer a really cheap plan, but it's $1.25/month. Honestly get a DigitalOcean droplet or something, you'll get a way better product.
I was bidding on a lot containing 1943: The Battle of Midway/Valhalla, 3-D Battles of Worldrunner, Battle City, Battle Kid: Fortress of Peril, Battle Tank, Battleship, Battletoads, and Gekitotsu Yonku Battle. Oh, and Famicom Wars.
There was an auction place and I heard there was a bidding war, so I brought my tank because that's what you do in wars, right? I got told to leave because they didn't like tanks but what are they going to do about it? Nothing, that's what. I won the bidding war.
Reference to this joke
Luigi is pretty cool but he will eat all the spaghetti in your house, chisel all the stones into footballs and he'll just randomly start crying if the cave people don't have any food stored for the winter. He's scared for no reason all the time. He'll also win Mario Party by doing nothing. I like his moustache.
Parallel parking for an hour is a totally exciting experience and totally not boring at all
He is a great guy but I think he needs to lay off the garlic because his breath smells so bad. also he stole all my gold coins because he is greedy. don't let him into your house unless you're cool. if you're cool he will make garlic bread for you and you will play warioware games together and he will play as himself in mario party. He is a libertarian.
It's a magic number so it's pretty good. There's three sides in a triangle??? I think. If you see a triangle that contains a different number of sides than three then please contact the shape authorities.
Galaxy S5: The Galaxy S5 is a cool phone that runs pretty fast and its camera is good. It has expandable storage so I have tons of room for squirrel photos and I have never really had a problem with it.
Galaxy S7 Edge: a k00ler phone with a curved screen. Unfortunately this means that it's very hard to find a tempered glass screen protector for it, and the ones that do exist don't really cover the whole screen. Also, it's easy to accidentally turn on multitasking.
Galaxy S0: I tried to review the Galaxy S0 but I'm pretty sure it's actually literally nothing. Refer to my review on air.
Galaxy âĢe^x dx: This phone is just e^x+constant. It only came out because âĢ looks like S.
Galaxy S-1: The Galaxy S negative 1 is the same thing as the Galaxy S1 except it's composed of antimatter and it's very hard to use because of the annihilation.
Galaxy S1 Edge: This phone was created in the distant future when Samsung kept increasing the number before it finally rolled over to 1. They weren't able to make the non-Edge version because the Galaxy S1 already exists but the Galaxy S1 Edge came out before Samsung realized the number rolled over. As a result it's a really futuristic phone but it's not very compatible with 2016 technologies so it has limited use.
After Tony's attempt at the Galaxy Cheese Pizza turned out kinda bad, Samsung decided to try to make their own. The Samsung Galaxy Cheese Pizza is a new circular smartphone.
Phone specs:
The biggest downsides are that you look like an idiot when you have a pizza held up to your ear (worse than the N-Gage) and are talking into it so don't try to make calls with the Samsung Galaxy Cheese Pizza. The pizza version of Android is okay but go for the cheese firmware (the pepperoni has issues).
If you can get past the silliness the specs are really great. I'm concerned about the mandatory cloud storage though, I think the NSA can read data from the clouds.
Galaxy cheese pizza is so nostalgic, I wish I could buy them individually. Also phones nowadays have gotten to the point where some of them have a lot more than 10 GB of RAM.
I started driving to Florida but by accident I pressed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor of the car and did not release it until I was all the way at Florida, but to my surprise I had been warped into Floorida instead. People everywhere were rounding real numbers down to integers, and there were floors everywhere - at least one in every single building. Also unfortunately all the cars in Floorida always constantly floor it so it's really dangerous to go anywhere, and traffic accidents are a real problem.
I would not recommend going to Floorida because of the danger.
I wouldn't recommend Florida either to be honest
Many companies seem to be deathly afraid of labeling their product a "cheeseburger" now. Just looking at IPFW's vending machines there is a "Double beef stacker with cheese sandwich", "Hamburger bun, beef patty, cheese", and "Beef charbroil with cheese". Cheeseburger is OK to call your product!! Don't think otherwise! Kid Cuisine is also in on this, with their "beef patty with cheese and bun".
Not OK!
See also: the "Pizza with pepperoni" thing Lunchables is doing
Another rising crust pizza. Except, this tastes a lot better than the usual generic rising crust pizzas, like how DiGiorno does. It has a pleasant spicy and savory taste to it and the crust actually reminds me of IPFW's crust. It's nice and soft and doughy, while still crunchy. Actually, now that I think about it it's good in a lot of the same ways IPFW's pizza is.
I recommend it.
Still one of my favorite frozen pizzas to get! I still really recommend it just based on the fact that it actually has flavor.
Against my better judgment I tried pepperoni pizza funnel cake.
It's sugarless funnel cake with a layer of sauce, then a layer of the kinda cheese they put on pretzels and nachos, then pepperonis.
The cheese was a poor decision and they should have figured out how to put melted mozzarella on it. That would have been so much better. I found it hard to eat after awhile since it was pretty gross after the novelty wore off. I started wiping the massive amounts of cheese off and even then it was kinda hard to eat. I couldn't finish it.
Not worth $9.
This was at Fort Wayne's Three Rivers Festival! I've never seen it for sale again after that year. So it was some really cool limited edition bad food. Wonderful.
Credit Cardcaptor Sakura, unlike the regular Cardcaptor Sakura will capture your credit card and use it to pay for new episodes of her anime, costing you ridiculous amounts of money. 0/10 do not recommend, watch out for her when you're watching anime.
Performing a U substitution is OK and it can help you to find the integral of an expression but what's really useful in math is the You substitution, which you can do when you're good enough at math. In it, you substitute You for someone else, who does the math problem for you. Alternatively, you substitute You for Wolfram Alpha.
Unlike U substitutions, you can perform a You substitution in discrete mathematics and for pretty much any part of calculus. You can even perform a You substitution to prove things. You can even perform a You substitution for topics outside math, such as computer science or economics.
The downside is that you cannot perform a You substitution during a quiz or exam, and you must still learn how to do the math yourself.
Still, I rate You substitutions a â â â â (5/5).
Pretty good euphemism for cheating
This is a question that has been wondered throughout the ages because Luigi the plumber and Lugia the Pokemon have similar looking names. I finally made them fight and apparently Luigi won because of his wavedash and his Super Jump Punch kicked Lugia's butt. They had a second match where Luigi just stood around the whole match and didn't do anything and he still won.
Everyone always tells me not to buy weird stuff from the vending machines. It was tempting though, not having any hot foods at college when I was hungry, so against my better judgment I purchased a Tony's Pepperoni Pizza thing, and it seemed like the kind of food you'd have in a high school lunch. Pizza tends to be good even when it's bad, so it was probably safe, right?
After it got out of the microwave I noticed it was ULTRA greasy and I used a napkin to wipe up a good amount of it but there was still a lot of it left. I grabbed one of the forks and headed off to discrete math class because I realized it was about to start. Once inside I realized the pizza was pretty much impossible to cut into with the ultra flimsy forks my college has and I mostly had to bite into it to tear it at all. The pizza looked really disappointing and it has those dumb cube shaped pepperonis that didn't turn out to taste very good and they kept falling off. The pizza kinda smelled weird too and overall it just reminded me of high school food but not in a nice nostalgic way. It was a little spicy though and that was nice.
I felt gross afterwards, ugh.
This was the worst food I ever had at college
I'm Brock. I walked into Planet Fitness with all my Pokemon because I misheard what type of gym it was but all of the people there had Pokemon anyway so it was okay. I sent out my Geodude and he kicked a dude's butt but then my Geodude started grunting so the lunk alarm went off!!! My Pokemon never grunted before but suddenly now that they were in Planet Fitness they just HAD to grunt and now it was getting me in serious trouble. I said "Geodude stop grunting" and he said no and kept grunting. Eventually I had to shut Geodude up by feeding it the free pizza but then it got too fat to fight so I lost. I sent Vulpix out next but it immediately took out a phone and started trolling instead of fighting AND I THINK HE JUDGED SOMEONE so the lunk alarm went off again!! Afterwards I sent out Machamp and he started using the exercise equipment but since he picked up four weights at the same time that apparently intimidated everyone else so we got kicked out.
I would not recommend battling at Planet Fitness
â ī¸â ī¸â ī¸â ī¸ lunk alarm activated â ī¸â ī¸â ī¸â ī¸
I WAS ON THE CHICAGOVPS SITE to look at my vps's disk usage (even though I could have used the df command) and then I saw THIS BANNER. Only later I found out that this DOLLAR SIGN MAN was an actual employee of ChicagoVPS. The entire staff
team including the CEO is composed of dollar sign people. That's why my VPS sometimes goes down for absolutely no reason, and it isn't the fact that I specifically went with the absolute cheapest VPS provider available. I think they should replace these GREEN DOLLAR SIGN MEN with yen or something. maybe then my server would stay up
It was good for the first few minutes but after that the main character realized it was a pirated copy the rest of the movie was just him torrenting. 0/10
I had the Kool Aid Man bust through the wall the other day in order to promote Kool Aid and it left a huge hole in the wall that cost a lot of money to repair. I didn't have KOOL AID MAN INSURANCE which was the worst part. I would recommend you get KOOL AID MAN insurance and put up a sign that says "please don't smash this wall" on every single wall on your house to protect yourself. If you don't then it's your fault if he busts into your house.
I used to play this game as a kid and I decided to get it again and play through the campaign. It's pretty neat but I think I'm really out of the age range for it now (21). The puzzles you get are random and in a random order so you'll be at like level 90 and get something dreadfully easy.
One thing I really don't like in level-based puzzle games is when there's an element of luck applied when solving puzzles. In Pajama Jam Sockworks, when a
sock enters into a T intersection it will split off in a random direction and when it lands into a chute it will jump out of another random chute in a random direction. Many of the puzzles were extremely simple and ended up being a long wait for the socks to do what you want them to do. At least you can speed it up.
One really annoying thing that happens also is when two socks overlap each other, because they're very difficult to separate again. Like in Chip's Challenge there's a lot of challenge from "action" elements like switching things at the right time, and you have to keep track of up to four socks at once but I was usually able to stop three of the socks and just direct one sock into the appropriate basket one at a time.
The best part of the game is the level editor. Someone needs to make some actually good puzzles with it.
I guess I'd only recommend it if it went on sale. The game will run in ScummVM so you can play it on anything you want.
I think this was the first game I ever bought online!
best way to get motion sickness
0/10 stars
I played Kirby: Planet Robobot and beat it, though I've only played the main story and haven't played all the EX stages or the other modes. It's pretty awesome. I haven't played any Kirby games after Nightmare in Dreamland so keep that in mind that I don't really know what direction the Kirby franchise has really gone.
First off I noticed a strong Kirby Superstar vibe. Like Superstar you can do lots of different attacks and combos with each ability, and the Jet and Mirror abilities to me feel distinctly Superstar-ish and they hadn't appeared in any other games until this one. There's also some recognizable Superstar sound effects.
The robot suit is fun and you feel really powerful while using it. When it's in use the player can't just fly forever (except in parasol mode) so here, in a Kirby game, you've got more traditional platforming. There are other places that find a way to justify the player not just being able to fly, like the sections that have Kirby holding a battery that he has to carry somewhere. There are whole levels set up around the robot suit bringing in new gameplay, like when it copies the jet it turns into a shooter game (with awesome music), and when it copies the wheel ability it's pretty different as well.
The level design has a lot more puzzles than before! The code cubes thing makes you do all sorts of little challenges and exploration. The puzzles actually have you using abilities, like ice to freeze water to make a bridge for yourself or enemies, and electricity to power something.
The levels are designed a lot around jumping between the foreground and background, which Kirby Triple Deluxe apparently also does, but since I hadn't played that I thought of Virtual Boy Wario Land and Mutant Mudds.
Thoughts for final boss: Holy crap it's sooooo long, like I had to take down 5 life bars or so. A lot of it was just moving around in a 2D space while avoiding things, which Undertale surprisingly prepared me very well for, and then the last part of it had me spinning the circle pad around super quickly like this was Mario Party or something. It felt pretty epic though and it was really satisfying.
Kirby: Planet Robobot is SUCH a good game and I really need to replay it
I fought Michelin Man and he was like "I'm TIREd of you, get it???" but I
had a tacks and I gave him a flat tired and I won easily. the fight was too
easy, would not fight again
Finding Cory is a weird movie. It starts off with a message from the president announcing a nationwide hunt for Cory and every town is searched wide and far for Cory. France is called in to help try and look for Cory because America can't do it alone. Eventually after a year of searching they finally find Cory in the White House.
Now, if you actually watch the anime, "Cory in the House", it's so obvious that he lives in the White House because that's the whole premise of the show. The plot of the movie makes no sense because people should have just looked there first. Especially the President of the USA should have looked there because he lives in the White House too.
I finally released the game I've been working on for 3 years, Nova the Squirrel! Come and play it!
And eventually I'll post on this blog when the sequel comes out!
So how would I review Novablog 2? I think it's an interesting window into my life back then and the kind of humor I had (and I think I still have, in a different form), but I'm not sure all of the humor still holds up. A lot of it is just weird references to jokes other people made. But people definitely seemed to appreciate it and I'm glad that I was able to make something that made people smile, even if it was really weird.
If you want more, there's that link to the rest of the articles at the top of this page.